The Flower In The Basement
by LittleMissHyde
Summary: An in depth look at the relationship between Lisa and Kaufman. How one girl's curiosity led to her downfall.
1. Seed

**AN: Okay, I haven't played Silent Hill/Origins in a while and I know nothing about becoming a nurse, so if any details are incorrect please forgive me. For the sake of this fic, let's pretend it's correct.**

Lisa had not always been such a naive and frightened young orchid. She had at one time considered herself a rose in bloom, with flowing, vivacious petals. Then how unusual, she thought, that such a fresh young bud would have the means to be ensnared by a thorny bramble, tainted by the temptation that such a danger brought.

It was somehow exhilarating, a rush of energy that made her feel so alive, yet left her so dead. A mixture of thrill and shame, lust and deceit, fear and loathing. They became one, slowly creeping through her roots, wilting her beautiful petals until there was nothing left but a withered, dried up shell.

She found it ironic, how the blossoming flower had been led so astray by something as repulsive and plain as a measly shrub. A poor, dying rose, left to crumble and fade in a dingy basement, forever waiting for a lovely day.

* * *

Lisa gazed at her reflection in the mirror, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. A plain white hat sat atop her head, holding the bob in position. She hated having to wear the damn thing, finding that it never stayed in place.

Clipping her badge to her cardigan, the teenaged nurse heaved a deflated sigh, fiddling nervously with her green earrings. A pair of white pumps shaped her feet, making soft scuffing sounds upon the floor.

She'd only been in training for a few months, yet already she found herself growing tired of the job. Despite constant efforts to prove herself, it seemed the elder staff regarded her as nothing more than a liability, giving her all the horrid jobs that they didn't want to do.

How many times had she emptied bed pans that day?

Washing her hands in the bathroom sink, Lisa inhaled the thick scent of vanilla soap, letting the silky warmth of hot water rinse away the suds. Drying her hands on a paper towel, the nurse dropped the soggy paper into a nearby bin, her teal eyes laden with sleep.

'Smile and look happy.' She told herself, gripping the basin with both hands. 'That's all you have to do, just smile and look happy.'

Smoothing down her collar, the strawberry blonde stared at her reflection in the mirror, assuring herself that she looked professional and prepared. Forcing her lips into a cheerful curve, the woman reached for the doorknob, stepping out into the vacant hall.

A cold breeze blew in from the open windows, erecting goosebumps along her pale skin. It was another grey day, and despite being a notable tourist attraction, Silent Hill suffered from bouts of thick fog that rolled in from the surrounding lake.

Rubbing at her cold arms, the nurse made her way across the marble floor, gazing vacantly at her dull surroundings.

Despite being a hospital, Alchemilla was drab and depressing, with dingy corridors leading to dingy rooms, a dark stairwell that seemingly led to nowhere, and lifeless staff who shambled around like zombies.

Posters were here and there, detailing the danger of teenage pregnancy, unprotected sex and drug abuse. Even the decor was subdued, with that typical sterile theme Lisa had come to despise. Bland and uninspired.

The trouble with white was that it was difficult to keep clean. The whiter it got, the filthier it seemed, coated in layers of thick grime and dust. No matter how hard you scrubbed, or how often you bleached, the stubborn dirt still remained.

Alchemilla was still relatively young, being something of a small hospital compared to the much larger Brookhaven. There was also Cedar Grove Sanitarium, which dealt specifically with contagions and the mentally unstable.

Despite it's age, five generations of Garland women had already worked under it's roof. This tradition had led to Lisa becoming a nurse herself, though only out of respect for her mother. In truth, she had very little interest in such a career.

_I only want what's best for you._

Her mother had insisted, pleading with her young daughter. _Don't you love me?'_

'Of course I do,' The nurse whispered, recalling painful memories.

_If that were true, then you'd do as I asked. Why must you continue to be such a disobedient little girl!?_

Tears formed in her mother's eyes, a look of disappointment directed at her child. Guilt welled up inside the girl. She only wanted to please her beloved parent.

I'm sorry mama,

She cried, clinging to her mother's arm. _I'll be a good girl, I promise. I'll do whatever you want me to do, just don't look at me like that!_

Shaking her head, Lisa broke free from her dazed stupor, having already arrived at the elevator doors. She'd been so lost in thought that she hadn't even realised where she was.

Blinking away the remnants of her past, the intern stepped into the small cube, listening to the familiar _clink_ of doors sliding shut. Pushing the button for the second floor, she leaned lazily against the far wall, staring at her distorted reflection in the shiny surface.

Folding her arms across her chest, the nurse let out a low breath, shutting her eyes to counter the dizzying vertigo. She'd have taken the stairs if it weren't so tedious.

When the lift stopped, Lisa waited impatiently for the doors to swing open, her fingers twitching with the urge to leave.

As she stepped into the corridor, a man brushed against her shoulder, slightly startling the unsuspecting girl. Glancing back, she watched as Dr. Kaufman entered the elevator behind her, his expensive shoes clacking upon the floor. A briefcase sat between his fingers.

'Good Morning.' She tried, throwing him a weak smile.

'Good Morning.' He replied, face as hard as it ever was.

The doors shut, the lift departed, and Lisa found herself utterly fed up with the man's arrogance. Forever rude, manners were something that he'd apparently never heard of.

At first the young girl thought she'd done something wrong, wondering why the doctor had taken such a dislike to her. Yet according to the rest of the staff, Michael Kaufman was like that with everyone, having something of a stern and jaded disposition.

Lisa often found herself pondering why someone so bitter and cold would aspire to become a doctor. He obviously didn't find it very rewarding, making no attempt to mask his distaste and indifference towards those in his care.

A private man, Kaufman would always lock his office door, refusing to be disturbed unless there was an emergency. On the rare occasions he was seen in public, the man would do little more than fill out forms and give orders, acting in his usual stoic way.

Maybe there was some psychological reasoning behind his actions? The nurse doubted that very much, yet still she wished to know.

Upon entering the nurse's room, Lisa was greeted by an empty jug sitting on the table. Once again she found herself the common dogsbody, forced into performing menial tasks that served no purpose other than to keep her out of trouble.

A soft noise of displeasure escaped her lips, yet the intern had no choice but to oblige. It had been awfully quiet as of late, with some days producing little work for the trainee. She'd take whatever she could get.

The majority of her lunch breaks were devoted to homework, skimming through thick medical books and heavy folders. At home she would study until the early hours of the morning, determined to prove her worth.

So why was it that she never seemed to do anything beyond change beds and sweep floors? They had a janitor for the latter, but somehow the broom always ended up in her hands.

None of her superiors made any attempt to properly teach her what she desperately needed to know, and whenever she queried the elder staff about it, they merely got angry and shooed her away. Lisa's mother did the best she could to train her daughter, but without the correct medical supplies, it often proved fruitless and frustrating.

Once the jug was full, Lisa turned off the tap and headed for the door, feeling soft drops of dripping water leak onto her shoes. She'd been repeating the same task for some time now, aimlessly wandering from room to room, ensuring the patients were fed and watered.

Fed and watered.

They made them sound like plants, as though the people under their care were nothing more than trees in need of preening. It disgusted the girl, who found remarks such as that to be demeaning and unprofessional.

There were times when she'd considered having a word with the director, but upon discovering that Kaufman _was_ the director, Lisa suddenly didn't feel so inclined to complain. In the end she decided it was better to avoid the disagreeable doctor.

The less she had to see of him, the better her life would be.

* * *

By noon Lisa was all but ready to collapse, her feet throbbing painfully in the too-small pumps. She'd asked for a larger pair, but so far nothing had come of her request.

Draping her uniform over an arm, the teen closed her locker with a forceful slam, trying to keep it shut despite the damaged latch.

When she became a full-time nurse, she felt sure they'd place her on the night-shift. That's where all the newbies went, or so she'd heard. Less sleep, more work. It made her wonder why she even bothered.

_I'm so proud of you._

Her mother's words hit her like a slap in the face, and despite being nothing more than a passing memory, they burrowed deep inside her heart. Suddenly sad, the nurse lowered her gaze and skulked out of the changing room.

Muffled chatter echoed through the now bustling hall. Many were leaving, whilst others had only just arrived. They all seemed happy and content with their lives, discussing topics which Lisa held no interest in.

She signed out at the reception desk, her signature a lazy, half-hearted scribble. Another unexceptional day had passed. And tomorrow, another unexceptional day would begin.

The heavy doors slammed behind her as she made her way onto the street. By now the thick fog had cleared, though an icy chill still remained. With her uniform slung under an arm, Lisa tugged at the scarf around her neck, blowing out a puff of warm air.

The paving stones were littered with ugly cracks, tiny roots beginning to sprout from the soil below. Though it's status as a mining town had long since passed, Silent Hill had become a hot spot for tourists, with the number of hotels increasing rapidly.

Magazines described the town as the perfect place to take a vacation, leading to the subsequent construction of an amusement park, and later a bowling alley, in hopes of appealing to a more family friendly crowd.

The nurse herself could not fathom why such a humdrum place had grown so popular. It's history was littered with bloodshed and torment, a dark past now firmly locked away behind a glass case, abandoned to the cruelty of time.

Lisa's grand-father would tell stories of the helmet-clad executioners, elusive cults and strange rituals related to the town, and though they entertained the girl, her mother considered it all nonsense, informing her daughter not to listen.

Silly hocus pocus

. She would say. _Complete garbage._

Lisa missed her grand-father.

Pausing on the edge of Koontz Street, the nurse let her gaze linger on Artaud Theatre, a sharp stab of nostalgia making her sigh. It still hurt.

She'd wanted to be a star, more than anything in the world. Back when she was still a student at Midwhich Elementary School, the girl had joined a drama club, landing roles in a selection of school plays.

She was never more happy than when she was on stage, performing in front of a spellbound audience. It made her feel powerful, as though she could touch the sky, as though she could achieve anything simply by wishing for it.

Lisa's teacher encouraged her to pursue an acting career, igniting a passion within the child, yet pushing her farther and farther away from the prospect of becoming a nurse.

Upon beginning high school, the teen enrolled in a singing class, hoping to improve her acceptable yet somewhat mediocre vocal talents.

Knowing her parents would never pay the excessive fee, Lisa got two part-time jobs to help her get by. On week nights she was a waitress at Annie's bar, whilst her weekends were spent at Andy's Books. They didn't pay well, but she managed.

At first secretive about her motives, the girl finally garnered enough courage to tell her parents what she was doing, desperate to be accepted by the two people she worked so hard to appease.

An actress?

Her mother mocked, laughing at the notion. _Don't be ridiculous, it's a waste of time and money. A frivolous idea._

Her father remained silent, as he always did. Despite being the breadwinner, it was quite clear that her mother held dominance over him. Afraid to speak up, he never opposed of anything she said, and certainly never stood up for his daughter.

He was the sort of man to hide behind a newspaper, a man who left the room when things got ugly, choosing to listen to the radio or watch TV rather than engage in conflict.

Your dream?

The woman continued, brow arching high. _Let me tell you something about dreams. They're not real, and nothing ever comes of them. _

You don't think I'm good enough?

Lisa sobbed, distraught.

Of course I do, which is why I want you to give up this foolish charade. I wasted the best years of my life chasing after a hopeless dream, I don't want that happening to you.

The girl had always considered her mother a thoughtful person, trying her best to provide Lisa with a happy childhood. Her attempts at parenting may have been unsophisticated, but her efforts were always acknowledged.

Only when the teen began her internship did she finally realize how cruel and manipulative the woman could be. Playing with her daughter's emotions, twisting the knife into her soft gut, was the only way she could force Lisa into doing as she was told.

Her father was weak, and her mother domineering. The girl felt as though she should hate her parents, but she didn't. Despite everything, they loved her, and she loved them right back.

Sliding her key into the lock, Lisa used her free hand to twist the handle, stepping inside her empty house. Hanging her uniform on the coat rack, she made her way to the kitchen, heading straight for the refrigerator.

She wasn't particularly hungry, but felt the need to eat simply out of necessity. She'd surely collapse if she didn't feed her body.

Grabbing a slice of ham, she made herself a sandwich and sat down at the table to eat it. As she chewed, her eyes roved the many family pictures nailed to the wall.

There were several of her parents in their younger days, one depicting her father, back when he still worked in Brahms. Another showed her mother wearing a nurse outfit, smiling cheerfully outside Alchemilla.

For as long as she could remember, the Garland women had followed the common tradition of becoming nurses. Most of them attended Achemilla, though a few had migrated to South Vale, choosing Brookhaven instead.

Her grand-mother had worked at Cedar Grove Sanitarium for a short time. It had been an unpleasant experience for the woman, who struggled to sleep at night. By the time her second term arrived, she had already transferred to Alchemilla.

As expected, Lisa had succumbed to her mother's emotional blackmail, agreeing to throw away her aspirations of stardom in order to keep her satisfied. And she had been incredibly satisfied with her daughter's submission. A little _too_ satisfied.

Whatever reason her mother had for derailing Lisa's life remained a mystery. The woman never told her, and she never asked. It was a touchy subject, and she knew how angry her mother could get.

Swallowing the last bite of her meal, she rinsed her dish and placed it back in the cupboard, removing her jacket as she climbed the stairs to her room.

Running a hand through her auburn-blonde hair, the girl began to run a bath, watching as the suds began to rise. Lying on her bed, she listened to the soft trickle of running water. It was soothing, if not hypnotic, almost lulling the girl into a deep sleep.

A collection of envelopes sat atop her desk, most of which belonged to friends she hadn't seen in a while. After graduating, many of them had migrated to their respective colleges. She'd replied to a few, but most went ignored.

She hated to admit it, even to herself, but Lisa was embarrassed by how uneventful her life was. She felt as though it was going nowhere.

Slipping off her clothes, the teen cautiously poked the water with a hesitant toe, slowly sliding into the steaming depths. Resting her head against the wall, she allowed her entire body to be engulfed by the warm liquid, gazing up at the circle of light above her head.

When was the last time she had fun?

* * *

A week later, Dr. Kaufman approached Lisa for the first time.

She was sitting on a bench in the courtyard, doing her best to juggle a cup of coffee and her medical books. It was a much more mild morning, allowing the nurse to stay outdoors without the need of a jacket.

When she saw him approach, the girl placed her selection of books on the floor, blowing slightly on her hot beverage. She didn't particularly enjoy the powerful flavour, but the caffeine helped her stay alert.

Afraid to make eye contact, she stared at the pale grass beneath her feet, listening to the faint bustle of rush hour traffic. The roads were busy during the early hours, with people travelling as far as Shepherd's Glen to get to work.

Turning her head away from her superior, the teen found herself in a very uncomfortable position. Like the monsters that used to lurk beneath her bed, Lisa believed that if she couldn't see him, he'd eventually go away.

The man cleared his throat, 'Am I interrupting something?'

Summoning the courage to look round, the intern focused all of her attention on his chin, trying to give the illusion that she was staring him square in the face. She hoped he wouldn't notice how she was averting her gaze.

'No, not at all.' She breathed, silently cursing herself for being so timid. Why did she find him so damn intimidating?

Without a word, the much taller man stared at her for a moment, the mildest glimmer of curiosity in his stern features. Even when he was in a good mood, if that is indeed what this was, he still failed to deliver in the expression department.

'May I?' He finally spoke, gesturing to the empty spot beside Lisa.

Swallowing her pride, the teenager gave him a weak smile, somewhat irritated at his presence. Knowing that she couldn't say anything other than yes, the girl gave a wry nod, reluctantly inviting him to join her.

Tugging gently on his tie, Kaufman took the spot beside his employee, seemingly oblivious to the nurse shifting further up the bench.

Why now? She wanted to be left alone with her thoughts, her books and her coffee. It was the reason she'd arrived to work a half hour early than was scheduled. It gave her the time and isolation she needed to focus on her studies.

Sipping her steaming coffee, Lisa wriggled on the hard wood, feeling awkward in the silence that followed. She wasn't sure whether he wanted a conversation, or was merely enjoying a pleasant view of the garden. He didn't strike her as the scenic sort.

Crossing her feet at the ankle, she cupped the plastic cup with both hands, not caring that it was essentially scolding her sensitive palms. If she could concentrate on the searing pain, she wouldn't be inclined to look at Kaufman.

A sudden breeze blew in from the lake, causing her books to fly open. Lurching forward, the girl slammed a hand upon the thick paper, trying to prevent her notes from being whisked away. She'd been working on them all morning.

Placing them safely between her pumps, the teen sat back with a relieved sigh, her heartbeat pulsing rapidly against her chest. With the effort of bending over, Lisa's skirt had rode up her thigh, exposing more flesh than she cared to reveal.

Flushing, she quickly yanked it down, though not fast enough to prevent the doctor from getting a good look at her legs. It was the briefest of glances, but the girl was certain his eyes had lingered on her bare skin far longer than she found acceptable.

Hiding behind a curtain of hair, the intern began to nervously rap her nails against the cup, afraid to take a drink. As long as she had the coffee, her hands would remain busy. Without it, she'd find herself fidgeting.

'I'd like to have a quick word with you.'

He spoke so suddenly, and with such clarity, that it took all of Lisa's self-restraint not to jump. Holding her breath, she awaited the terrible news of her failure, firmly believing that he had come to relieve her of her duties. She always did believe she'd make a terrible nurse.

Clenching her eyes shut, the nurse began to conjure all sorts of unpleasant images in her head. What would her mother say? Would she be transferred to another hospital? She prayed it wasn't Cedar Grove.

Slowly placing one leg over the other, Kaufman sat back and folded his arms, much to Lisa's surprise. He was acting so casually that she couldn't believe he was the same stuffy, perpetually unhappy fellow that had crossed her in the elevator.

'Do you like working here?'

Taken aback, the girl took a moment to gather her composure. Was that a trick question? He could have asked for her name and she still would have faltered.

'Um, yes.' She mumbled, her grip going tight around the cup.

He seemed to consider this, running a hand beneath his chin. As she stared at his profile, the nurse thought he looked rather worn, as though a great weight had settled on his shoulders. Something about his hunched, tired appearance made him seem less frightening.

'You seem unhappy,' He finally said, gaze fixed on the bars of the fence. 'Not having second thoughts, I hope?'

She'd been having second thoughts since the day she began, finding it to be a constant uphill battle with her willpower. So far her needs had overwhelmed her wants, but that didn't stop the teen from feeling the way she did.

'No,' She shook her head, unable to convince even herself. 'I've just been feeling a little stressed lately, that's all.'

She eyed the pile of books at her feet, hoping that he'd get the message and leave. Yet even as she wished for this, Lisa felt a growing urge to say by his side, finding comfort in the company he brought.

Her life was somewhat lonely, dominated by work and sleep. Contact with the outside world consisted mostly of walking to and from the hospital, whilst the staff remained cold and distant towards her.

It seemed the only thing keeping her from going insane were the patients she cared for, and even that was limited to delivering meals and handing out medication. An opportunity had now arisen, and she was conflicted about how she should feel.

'Well, actually, that's not quite true.' Her pulse quickened as she spoke the words, unable to keep them from escaping her lips. 'I wish the other girls would stop treating me like a child.'

'They do, do they?'

'Yes, I'm fed up of it.' The intern's voice rose, teal eyes revealing a deep anger which had been bottled up for many years. 'All I'm good for is sweeping floors and serving drinks. I want to prove myself. I'm training to be a nurse, not a maid.'

'I see,' The man replied, failing to convey emotion.

By now the girl was frustrated, fingers going white as she gripped the plastic cup hard enough to make it crack. Hot coffee poured all down her hand, causing her to cry out and drop the beverage on the floor. Some of it splashed onto her books, turning the once white pages a dark brown.

Nursing her scolded hand, Lisa fought back tears. Everything was going wrong. No matter how hard she smiled, it never seemed to make her feel any better. Despite her outward optimism, inside she was weeping for all that she wasn't, and all she would become.

If only she had said no to her mother. Perhaps she could have joined an acting school? At least it would have more interesting than her current predicament.

Seeing the girl's distress, Kaufman reached into his suit pocket and removed a small, white handkerchief, gently wrapping it around her burning flesh. It was a simple gesture, but it managed to calm her down.

The man's hands were much larger than hers. They were also rough and callous, yet somehow reassuring. This was in stark contrast to his blank mien, which still refused to twist his solid frown into something more amiable.

She couldn't understand what he was trying to accomplish. He was helping her, that much was obvious, but his sour expression did not change, once again leaving the nurse just as confused as she had been before.

'You should be more careful,' His deep, commanding voice told her. 'What good will you be if your hands are damaged?'

She slowly pulled herself away from him, using her free hand to hold the handkerchief against her aching skin. The wind blew once more, but the pages of her books were stuck together, eliciting a sigh from the girl. Her mother would be furious.

Stooping to pick up the empty cup, Kaufman crushed it with his fist, throwing the crumpled plastic into a nearby bin. The coffee trickled along the paving stones, finding its way to the grass and seeping into the soil.

'Thanks,' She replied, wincing at the pulsing pain.

'You should soak that in cold water,' He gestured to her hand, still obscured by the handkerchief. 'Wouldn't want to get a blister, I'm sure?'

'No.'

Fumbling with the sleeves of his shirt, the doctor turned to leave, his fancy shoes making their trademark _clack_ upon the floor. Rolling his stiff shoulders, the older man paused to peer back at the nurse.

'Come and see me later, I may have some work for you.'

It was so unexpected that Lisa simply stood there gawking, her lips flapping uselessly as she tried to form words. After a moment of helpless silence, the girl gained enough confidence to finally answer him, deciding that there was really only one thing she could say.

'Thank you, I will.'

* * *

After placing her damaged books inside her locker, Lisa rubbed some burn cream into her skin, feeling a faint smile curve her glossy lips.

Kaufman was giving her a chance. The man she'd found so intimidating was the only person who'd shown faith in her abilities. Perhaps he wasn't as bad as everyone made out?

Cheerfully heading for the elevator, Lisa felt a twinge of excitement at the prospect of finally being able to put her skills to good use. Though still reluctant to embrace the career, having an opportunity to do some real work was enough incentive to make her try.

She folded Kaufman's napkin into a neat square, promising that she'd drop by the laundry room before she left. The white silk was marred with coffee, and she felt obliged to rinse it out before returning it to the doctor.

Tucking it inside a pocket, she headed past a gaggle of nurses tittering about something. Gossip was never short in Alchemilla, and though she never partook in such conversations herself, the teen was often close enough to hear every word being spoken.

News stretched far and wide, relating to people and places alike. Some of the stories revolved around patients currently at the hospital, and although she hated the fact that confidentiality was being broken, the intern couldn't help but eavesdrop from time to time.

Upon noticing the young girl, one of the women called out to her.

Dressed in a pale blue cardigan, the older nurse waltzed toward the teenager, her brown hair held back in a tight bun. Scanning the clipboard in her grip, she threw Lisa an insincere smile, tapping a pen irritably against the paper.

'Miss Garland, be a dear and make the tea will you? We're all incredibly thirsty.'

Gritting her teeth, the girl tried to refrain from frowning, her fingers interlocking so the woman wouldn't see them clench. It was happening again, and she had to bite her lower lip to keep a nasty comment from escaping.

Making tea and coffee was not on her agenda, but as usual, she'd be bullied into it by the overbearing staff. She might have been young, but she wasn't stupid. They were taking advantage of her role as trainee, using it to twist the girl into doing what they wanted.

Lisa was sick of it.

The woman's words had drawn attention from other nurses loitering by the kitchen. All eyes were on her, and the teen could feel her poker face beginning to break. Part of her wanted to yell out in anger, whilst part of her refrained from doing just that, afraid of the repercussions it would bring.

'I..' She began, feeling her throat go dry.

Was it some sort of test? Did all the interns get treated this way? Frustrated, Lisa ran a hand along her forehead, feeling the distinct throb of a headache beginning to form. She didn't hear Kaufman approach until he placed a hand upon her shoulder.

'Miss Garland is not required to be your lap-dog.' He said, sounding slightly irritated, almost as if he had to scold them on a regular basis. 'I'd appreciate it if you would all get back to work. You're not being paid to stand around and chat.'

With a scoff, the elder woman headed for the medicine room, flipping through the pages of her clipboard. The remaining group abruptly scattered, many of them choosing to continue their conversation in the bathroom. Kaufman couldn't get them in there.

Rubbing at his temples, the opposing doctor released a grunt, at a loss as to how he was going to deal with their insolence. Female staff greatly outnumbered the male staff, proving to be quite a challenge when it came to making them do as they were told.

Lisa watched him curiously, wondering why he'd defended her. It wasn't that she was ungrateful, but she felt it strange that the man was only just beginning to realize she was there. It had taken him three long months. Why now?

Gesturing with his finger, Kaufman beckoned the girl to follow him, stopping outside the door to his office. Slipping a key into the lock, he turned the handle and slid inside, not even bothering to hold the door for her.

Gently pushing it shut, Lisa stood before the door, nervously shifting from foot to foot. The director pulled out a comfy chair, settling down with an air of control that sent shivers down her spine. It felt good, but she didn't know why.

The tiny room made her feel claustrophobic, but she tried to remain upright, forcing her hands to remain still. Exhuming confidence was something she'd learned from her acting class, though despite her best efforts, it didn't seem to be working.

Clasping his hands atop the desk, Kaufman stared at the girl.

'You look scared. Don't be, I won't bite.' Leaning back, he allowed himself to be consumed by the soft leather, releasing a deep breath as he made himself comfortable. 'My staff can be quite troublesome, I know. Sometimes even I have difficulty putting them in line.'

Slender fingers gripped her earring, subconsciously twisting it back and forth. She was a bag of nerves, having to force her eyes to remain on Kaufman's prodding gaze.

'How's your hand?' He asked, motioning to the patch of damaged skin.

'It's alright,' She replied, rubbing at her heated flesh. 'I'll return the handkerchief just as soon as I wash it.'

Taking inspiration from the various novels she'd read, Lisa wholeheartedly expected him to let her keep it. However, Kaufman merely gave a nod, assuring the girl that he did, in fact, expect to have it returned. She'd be visiting the linen room afterall.

'It was quite expensive, I hope it's not too damaged?'

She shook her head, 'No, I'm sure it won't stain.'

'Good.'

Removing a pen from his desk drawer, the older man began to scribble something on a notepad. From where she stood, the girl couldn't quite decipher the text, though she was impressed with his neat handwriting.

Three minutes passed without so much as a word, and the intern began to suspect she'd been forgotten. Shuffling her feet on the carpet, she tried to gain his attention without being forthright, scanning the small office inquisitively.

There wasn't much to look at, but it was better than looking at him.

'We're having some repair work done to the building.' His eyes were still firmly fixed on the paper, though his words were directed at her.

'Oh really?' It was a weak answer, but Lisa didn't know what he expected her to say.

'As of next week, the basement and third floor will be off limits.'

'Okay,' She followed his hand as it slid along the paper, carefully trailing each movement. 'But what about the patients, where will they go?'

He paused to glare at her, though the nurse wasn't sure whether he was angry or merely thoughtful. It could have been either, but she wasn't going to ask.

'Some of them will have to share rooms. The more able bodied residents are being temporarily transferred to Brookhaven and St. Jerome's.'

The girl considered this, believing it to be quite a distance for them to travel. Brookhaven was on the other side of town, whilst St. Jerome's was situated in South Ashfield. However, in comparison to it's neighbours, Alchemilla was quite a small hospital, and the girl understood that there wasn't enough space for everyone.

'Is there anything I can do to help?' She offered, remembering his promise of work.

'As a matter of fact there is.' He placed his pen down, once again clasping his hands together. 'I've a girl on maternity leave, we'll be needing all the help we can get. I'd like you to take up her post whilst she's away. If you do well, it may become a permanent position.'

The intern didn't respond immediately, under the mistaken impression that she'd misheard him. Then, as his words slowly sank into her mind, she found herself filled with a sense of elation, unable to prevent the smile that curled her lips.

Despite her joy, the nurse couldn't figure out why he was doing all of this. He didn't seem like the sympathetic type, nor did he strike her as someone with pity. She was just a kitten amongst cats, trying to learn the ropes against more experienced staff.

'Why me?'

'Because I see potential in you. Everyday you immerse yourself in those books, though I've yet to see you perform any real work. I want to give you a chance, see if you really know what you're doing.' He edged forward ever so slightly, rolling the pen between his fingers. 'But you only get one chance, so don't mess up.'

'I won't, I promise.' She meant it, despite not having much in the way of enthusiasm.

The girl left the office in a daze, dismissed by Kaufman once he was fed up of her company. Becoming a nurse wasn't something she aspired to be, but she certainly wasn't going to waste the opportunity he had given her.

Grabbing a glass of water to lubricate her coarse throat, the intern sat down in one of the chairs reserved for waiting guests. She felt light headed, adrenaline coursing through her veins from the sheer excitement of the news she had received.

Whilst overcoming her stupor, the same brunette nurse passed by, a mocking smirk on her unkind features. Lisa smiled right back, not a care in the world for what the nasty woman might have been thinking. She was going to be the best nurse she possibly could.

_Even better than you, _she thought.


	2. Roots

**AN: The chapters are long, but bear with me. I'm doing my best to establish the characters.**

Lisa's mother was ecstatic with the news of her daughter's promotion, hounding the girl with more questions than she cared to answer. Her father was more reserved about the matter, offering a hearty congratulations for a job well done.

This bothered the girl, who felt as though she hadn't really done anything.

Pushing her fork around the plate, the intern struggled to take even a single bite of her food, fearing that she'd vomit if she attempted to do so. A loss of appetite had overtaken her, and though her mother's cooking always tasted good, the nurse was too nervous to try any of it.

A roiling sensation disturbed her otherwise empty stomach, but she couldn't quite figure out why. All she knew was that it had something to do with the mysterious doctor.

Sipping gingerly at her water, Lisa was able to convince her parents that she was too tired to eat. As terrible as the excuse was, it apparently seemed to work, and the intern promptly retired to her room, finding solace in the peace and quiet.

In reality she simply wanted to be left alone, tired of listening to her mother's babbling. The troubled teen had far too much on her mind to warrant listening to anything the woman had to say. She liked the attention, but the timing couldn't have been worse.

Closing the door behind her, the nurse felt some comfort in the knowledge that she wouldn't be disturbed. Her parents respected her privacy. She didn't need a lock on her door, as they were always kind enough to knock.

Turning on her bedside lamp, Lisa sat on the edge of her bed, the mattress creaking slightly beneath her weight. Resting her arms across her knees, the girl began to think of him, confusion and bewilderment leaving her in a mess of conflicted emotions.

She knew exactly what she was feeling, but tried her best to deny it, finding no logical reason as to why she would develop anything for such a cold and callous man. Yet even as such thoughts occurred, she felt her body warm with a strange jolt of adrenaline.

Sex was something of a taboo in her home, and neither of her parents wished to speak directly about the topic. Her mother all but ordered the girl to remain chaste until she married, a belief which Lisa held with contempt.

Boyfriends weren't forbidden, but to admit having one was more trouble than she deemed necessary. She wasn't as naive as her parents believed her to be, yet despite having been on numerous dates, the girl had never allowed anyone beyond first base.

Most of her relationships had been mere infatuations, short-lived crushes that never went further. Taking things to the next level was too much of a risk, and the constant fear of getting caught forever loomed above her head.

Things were different now, and Lisa wasn't sure she liked the direction her life was taking. Moist palms and a thumping heart were something which followed her around all afternoon, from the moment she picked up her water jug, to the moment she closed her locker door.

All day her head had been filled with thoughts of Kaufman, unable to discern just why she had suddenly formed an attraction to him.

The man was remarkably unremarkable, with features that she normally wouldn't consider handsome. He had a terrible attitude, being somewhat anti-social and mean. It made the girl question her own motives, pondering why she felt the way she did.

Misplaced affection perhaps? He was, afterall, the only person who had made any effort to treat her kindly. More so than even her own parents.

Shaking her head, Lisa knew this wasn't true. She had formed many excuses, none of which held any reliable ground. The simple fact was that everything negative about him seemed so alluring to her. It was inconceivable, yet that is what it was.

Her head spun wildly as she came to terms with the revelation, feeling an uncomfortable sensation of sick anticipation and building repulsion line her gut.

It wasn't that she found the idea of Kaufman so revolting, but rather the concept that she could fall for such a disagreeable man so quickly, and all because he'd given her a handkerchief. It was completely ludicrous.

The girl was well aware of how idiotic it all sounded, like a soppy romance novel in which happy endings were still possible. She scowled at the thought, yet remained unable to shake such thoughts of him from her mind.

Frustrated, the nurse began to restlessly pace back and forth, trying to keep herself busy with small chores which temporarily subdued her wandering imagination. A speck of dust here, a wandering sock there; all gathered up and swept away.

But her room was immaculate, and she finished her cleaning rather quickly. Soon, she found herself thinking of him again, a sense of guilt crushing the air from her lungs.

Sitting at her desk, the teen slowly rocked back and forth on the hind legs of her chair, staring at a selection of books on the shelf above. She wasn't a big reader, but every so often she got the urge to pick up a novel and immerse herself in the world of fiction.

Her eyes fell on a black, leather clad diary sitting in between two books. It had been a gift for her fourteenth birthday, but the girl had never felt the need to use it.

Now that she had something she wanted to say, the troubled intern was thankful for the opportunity to release the words she found herself unable to form. With no close friends to confide in, the only way of confessing her turbulent emotions was through pen and paper.

Grabbing the journal from it's place on the shelf, the redhead nestled down in her seat and peeled back the front cover, inhaling the aromatic scent of crisp, fresh paper. With pen in hand, she slowly began to stain the unsullied page with layers of black ink.

The girl had so many things that she wanted to express. All of her pent up rage and sorrow pooled onto the paper like dirty tears, leaving random blotches dabbed here and there.

Yet Lisa didn't stop. Even when her wrist began to ache and her eyes grew heavy, she still continued to scrawl, fearing she would burst if the words were not immortalized in some fashion. Her story had to be told, if only to a book.

Every passing second was filled with the soft scrape of skin on paper, her heart thumping excitedly as she was finally able to express herself.

As it got dark, the nurse switched on her table lamp, only pausing to get a glass of water from the kitchen. By the time night had arrived, she'd dozed off, waking only when a soft knock roused her from sleep.

Sitting up with a start, she heard the familiar croon of her mother's voice push it's way through the walls. Clearing her throat, she carefully closed her journal and opened the door, allowing the woman inside.

With only one lamp illuminating the dim room, everything appeared cast in shadow, forcing the girl to quickly switch on her ceiling light so as to shoo the darkness away. Upon noticing her mother's gaze eyeing the diary, Lisa carefully sat back down to guard it.

'I just came to say goodnight,' She smiled, staring at the leather book.

The girl blinked back an urge to yawn, 'You're going to bed?'

'Yes,' The woman chuckled. 'It's almost five past ten.'

Looking at her clock, the girl was surprised to find that her mother was right. She'd been asleep for quite a while. Rubbing at her drowsy eyes, the teen got to her feet and gave a little laugh. She'd lost all track of time, far too engaged in her new hobby.

'Sorry, I've been a little distracted.'

Her mother gestured to the journal, 'I can see.'

'You bought this for me two years ago, remember?'

'I do,' The woman nodded. 'I'd almost forgotten about it.'

She sat down on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs at the ankle and inspecting her child. Lisa always hated being under duress, particularly that of her mother's scrutinizing gaze. Whether it was a compliment or not, the girl wished to be left alone.

'What are you writing about?' Her mother queried, curious.

'Um, my promotion.' The girl blurted without a thought. 'It's a special occasion, something worth writing about.'

It wasn't a lie, as Lisa really had been writing about her newly acquired position. What she didn't admit to, however, was the unwanted sensations that strange man was beginning to make her feel. They remained strictly her secret to keep.

The bed groaned as her mother got up, a warm smile on her aging features. With a gentle hand, the woman ran her palm down the girl's pale cheek, slowly pulling her into a soft embrace and planting a firm kiss on the teen's forehead.

'You're such a good girl,' She said, trailing slender fingers through layers of strawberry hair. 'I always knew you'd make me proud.'

With one last hug, the woman turned to leave, carefully closing the door behind her as she did so. Releasing the breath she'd been holding, Lisa swiftly dashed to her door, pressing an ear against the wood and listening for her mother's presence.

There was something unusual about the way she was behaving, and though the teen enjoyed receiving the attention, it also made her wary. Love was something her parents did not often portray, and whenever they did, it worried the girl.

Sometimes she failed to recognize whether such actions were controlling or genuine, finding the thin line that ran between them blurry and unclear.

Nervous, but certain that her mother would not invade her room without permission, the nurse covertly hid her diary beneath her mattress. If it were to be discovered, she would most certainly get into trouble for feeling something her parents deemed inappropriate.

Removing her cardigan and folding it neatly into her drawer, the girl began to undress for the night, getting into a pair of pajamas and clambering into bed. She didn't bother turning the light off, somehow afraid of what the dark would bring.

It was odd how she could feel so tired, yet be so awake, and despite the serene silence, all that could be heard was the heavy throbbing of her pulsing heart.

* * *

_March 4th 1976_

_My entire body is on fire. There's a strange heat in the pit of my belly, burning lower and lower until it begins to tingle. I tightly shut my legs and try to squeeze it away, but it never stops throbbing._

_That man is much older than me. He's even older than my father. I know it's disgusting and it feels so wrong, yet it leaves me with a strange quiver of adrenaline. I feel drawn to him. Even as I'm writing this my palms are moist and my throat is dry._

_His voice is harsh like gravel, erecting goosebumps on my skin. Whenever he is near, I can feel a shock of electricity igniting my soul. I splash cold water on my face, though it does little to ease my rising temperature._

_He's not married, or if he is, then he chooses not to wear his ring. I noticed this when he nursed my burn. At first it didn't really concern me, but now that I think about it, I'm kind of glad. I'm not sure why, but it fills me with a sense of relief._

_His handkerchief is still in my possession. I forgot about it until just now, but I really must wash it when I get the chance. Not here though, where mom can find it. She'll ask too many questions. Pry into my business. I don't want that._

_Will he be mad?_

_I said it wouldn't stain, but it probably will. It is coffee, afterall. Silk is expensive, and I don't have the money to replace it. But he gave it to me, so surely he knew what would happen? Regardless, I'll wash it with the rest of the laundry tomorrow._

_There are days when I still yearn for my past. Singing, dancing, performing on stage. Not a moment goes by when I don't ponder what could have been. Yet I am also happy to receive the opportunity that has arisen._

_I'm young, but I'm not stupid. I've studied hard for this, I deserve a chance to prove what I can do. Maybe now I'll be able to help those people. Wrap bandages and clean cuts. Stitch wounds and sooth burns. Real help, not simply providing them with food and medication._

_When I told mom about the job, she was overjoyed. She couldn't stop talking about it. Anybody who saw her would have thought she was the one getting promoted._

_It's ironic, really. Despite craving her attention, I felt strangely empty upon receiving it. A hollow victory, that's all. She praises me when I do well, but I rarely ever accomplish the impossible standards she sets for me._

_This is the first time in weeks that I've done something she's proud of. If it weren't for her, I could have been elsewhere right now. I could have gone to university with the rest of my friends. I wouldn't feel this crippling loneliness creeping up on me._

_I'd be free._

* * *

Placing Kaufman's handkerchief inside the washing machine, Lisa took one last look at it, sincerely hoping she wouldn't further damage the fragile item. Closing the door, she poured in all the necessary powders before switching it on.

Leaning against the opposite wall, she folded her arms and watched as the linen spun round in a continuous, dizzying cycle. She'd ensured that all the white laundry went in together, so as to avoid colours mixing.

Her initial plan was to leave the hanky and come back when everything was complete. However, as she listened to the machine's rhythmic _whirr_, the nurse found herself reluctant to leave, afraid that something terrible might happen if she did.

All morning she'd been on edge, as though cleaning a handkerchief was somehow more important than her job. She had yet to catch a glimmer of the elusive doctor, but it was early, and she was beginning to learn that he had other priorities.

The wall clock ticked idly by, enveloping the desolate room in it's noisy mechanical sound. It was as irritating as it was welcomed, allowing her to focus on something other than the growing knots in her stomach.

She'd arrived at the hospital an hour early, under the pretense that she was being given an induction by the director. Her mother seemed to accept the story, completely oblivious to her daughter's lies. If she suspected Lisa of being unruly, she never said it.

It was tiresome trying to continuously keep up the facade of a good child. Since leaving school, she'd had little interaction with the outside world, and was beginning to miss the more carefree days of her youth.

Time seemed to pass so quickly, and though she was still only seventeen years old, the intern longed for a more adventurous lifestyle. The humdrum existence she led was nothing but unsatisfying, and she trembled at the thought of becoming her mother.

No, Lisa refused to settle for anything less than what she expected. Unlike her parents, who dated briefly and wed far too soon, the nurse wanted to experience love, revel in lust and defy everything her parents believed her to be.

She knew exactly what she wanted.

She wanted _him_, but even she could not bring herself to admit it.

Her entire body was pulsing again, both cheeks burning as her thoughts wandered into dangerous territory. Alone in the tiny room, she allowed herself a moment to divulge in her secret thoughts. Tempting fantasies which remained sealed away in the depths of her psyche.

The air grew heavy with a musky, masculine scent; a strange cologne which wasn't pleasant, yet enticed her nonetheless. She inhaled deeply, remembering the empowering aroma, letting it's spicy, strong flavour invade her nostrils.

Next she thought of his skin, rough and worn. It brushed against her soft flesh, grazing the tips of her fingers ever so slightly. It almost tickled. Yet they were busy hands, weathered by years of work. She liked that.

Finally she pictured his face. Unattractive though strangely alluring. His sunken eyes and stiff jaw line suitably becoming of him. She was smitten with his rugged features, finding them inexplicably captivating.

His overly expensive suits and high priced shoes were an attempt to appear middle-class, though wearing a mask proved fruitless before those who knew him personally. And as nobody really knew him that well, this extended mainly to his staff.

But Lisa wanted to know him. She wanted to tear off that mask he wore, rip away the clothing that obscured his soul, savour the tender sugar of his intimate secrets.

Breaking out in a flurry of sweat, the girl fell into a crude squat, cringing into her damp palms as she clenched her thighs tight shut, praying for the pulsating heat to subside. Her breath came in quick, short bursts, eliciting a pained groan as she collapsed onto her knees.

She stayed there for some time, gazing mindlessly at the oppressive grey tile. However explicit her daydreams were, and however much she enjoyed having them, it didn't stop the teen from feeling relentlessly guilty about her own sexuality.

None of her past boyfriends had ever had such an effect on her, and Lisa deeply feared that she was becoming aware of her own body, even as she rejected the notion.

Kaufman was a monster of a man, which only seemed to increase her desire. There was something arousing about his superiority, in the way he veered through an empty world with such blatant disregard. It filled her with excitement.

Without warning, the door to the linen room clicked open, revealing a stocky doctor whom Lisa was not familiar with. Startled, she remained frozen in place, her arms clasped defensively around her chest.

Wearing a stethoscope around his neck, the dusty blonde gave her a quizzical look, seeming almost surprised to find her. Only when the girl got to a shaky stand did he rush to provide her with assistance.

'Are you okay my dear?' He asked, his voice low and compassionate. Well practiced.

'Yeah, I think so.' She replied, allowing him to help her up. 'I'm just feeling a little light headed, that's all. I skipped breakfast this morning.'

He slowly shook his head, supporting her with an outstretched arm. 'You should go and get some rest. Have a bite to eat, it'll make you feel much better.'

'I will,' She nodded, offering a weak smile.

'It's all good and well helping those in need, but if you're not careful, you might end up in one of those hospital beds yourself.'

'You're right, I promise I'll take better care of myself.'

The washing machine ground to a halt, plunging the room into an abrupt silence. The nurse felt she was becoming more adept at lying, though she wasn't proud of it. Folding her hair behind an ear, she focused her attention on the damp laundry.

Doing her best to ignore the lingering doctor, she removed the soggy bedding and shoved it in a dryer, careful to keep the tiny handkerchief separate. There were no instructions on how to dry it, and the nurse was afraid it might burn from the heat.

Clueless, she decided it was better to be safe than sorry, covertly cupping the hanky in the palm of her hand. Switching on the machine, she turned to face the waiting man, feeling as though she were interrupting something.

'Am I in the way?' She enquired, shifting to the side.

'Not at all,' He laughed, searching through a basket of clean sheets.

Lisa didn't know what he was looking for, and she didn't really care. She'd done what she needed to do. Briefly thanking him, the girl swiftly fled the room, not even bothering to ask the man for his name.

It was her embarrassment at being found on the floor, drenched in beads of sweat, which forced the teen to run, ashamed of how uncouth it all must have seemed. The doctor appeared none the wiser, but that didn't make her feel any less humiliated.

Clenching the wet hanky in her hand, the intern made her way down the stairs, feeling an icy draught cool her warm skin. Each step echoed off the walls, thumping around inside her skull like a blaring, invasive siren.

Pausing outside the second floor, she inhaled large amounts of cold oxygen, forcing her quivering body to relax. Drops of water splashed onto the floor, dripping from the wet silk laced between her fingertips.

The handkerchief held a faint brown hue, though it fared much better than when it had first been stained. Slightly disappointed with the outcome, Lisa headed for the first floor restroom, squeezing the hanky over the sink until it stopped leaking.

Sealing it inside her locker, the nurse hoped it would dry before her shift ended. She was itching for an excuse to see him again.

* * *

Lisa slumped at the desk, face dejectedly cupped in her palm as she scribbled messy notes on a clipboard. Her crossed leg bobbed up and down as she drew her hand along the paper, feeling deflated with every word that touched the page.

Her initial hopes of seeing Kaufman had been dashed upon learning that her induction would be performed by a senior nurse. It made her concentration waver, and though she tried to remain alert, the intern's eyes were constantly searching for the evasive man.

Yet she had no time to mourn his absence, for there was work to be done, and the girl had been swept off her feet with a long list of duties that had all but exhausted her energy. It was amazing how tiring simply changing bandages could be.

There were now a number of specific patients in her care, many of whom had very debilitating illnesses. Most were no trouble to the nurse, but seeing them in such a state was nothing short of distressing.

Pushing her emotions to the back of her mind, she pushed herself forward, determined to make their life as comfortable as possible. It made her job marginally easier, though changing soiled bedspreads still proved a challenge.

Finishing off her report, the girl placed her pen back in the holder, standing up to return the clipboard to it's rightful place. The examination room was quiet, disturbed only by the muffled sounds drifting in from beneath the door.

Gathering up a dirty syringe and numerous empty packets, the teen disposed of the garbage appropriately, thoroughly rinsing her hands in a nearby sink once she'd finished.

Taking blood was the one thing she'd been terrified of doing, always fearing she'd be unable to find a suitable vein to insert the needle. Everything had gone smoothly however, further reassuring Lisa that she was, in fact, a perfectly capable nurse.

Reaching her arms above her head, she extended her limbs as far as she could, letting all the tension escape from her body. With a pent up groan, she released her stretch, relaxing into a comfortable sag as she breathed a sigh of relief.

The room was cold, and she tugged her cardigan shut, contemplating her next course of action. It was almost dusk, and her shift was coming to an end. The weekend was near, and Lisa began to wonder what she would do with herself.

It occurred to the teen that she'd wasted much of her free time studying, and though she continued to skim through her medical books at lunchtime, the intern was in no mood to spend another saturday cooped up inside her drab bedroom.

Heading back to the desk, she pulled open a slim drawer and removed a crumpled poster, laying it flat on the wooden surface as she examined it more closely.

She'd torn it from a wall during her morning commute, keeping it safely concealed in the examination room. Even if it had been discovered, she had absolutely nothing to hide. Afterall, it was just a scrap of paper.

_Artaud Theatre presents: The Rise And Fall Of Doctor Faustus, Saturday 6th March at 2PM. Book your tickets now!_

It had been many years since she'd last set foot in the theatre, and she suddenly had an urge to visit her old haunt. Fondling the poster with delicate hands, the girl considered purchasing a ticket to see the show.

An abrupt click of the opening door made her panic, and she spun round to obscure the poster from view. It was a natural reaction to her parents' constant prying, and the nurse found old habits difficult to break.

Slouching against the desk, her posture immediately changed when she saw Kaufman walk in, his hands fumbling with a slightly twisted tie. When he noticed her, the intern stood rigid, pale cheeks flushing red.

'I wasn't aware you were here,' The man spoke, eyeing her awkward posture. 'Forgive me, I should have knocked.'

'No, it's alright. I was just finishing up.'

Turning her back on the doctor, Lisa busied herself with a stack of papers, gathering them up into neat piles. She'd already organized the paperwork, but trembling hands had to be kept busy. She prayed he wouldn't dwell on her blush.

From behind her, she could hear the rattle and clank of bottles being shifted. As he meddled with the cabinet, Kaufman began counting out loud, mentally taking note of which medicines he would need to restock.

'How did it go?' He asked from the cupboard, removing a purple jar. 'Not too difficult, or did you prefer sweeping floors?'

Glancing back, the girl briefly met his eyes, quickly averting her gaze to the floor, 'It's tiresome, but I've enjoyed it. It beats making coffee all day.'

He never replied, and the teen wondered whether he'd heard. Returning to her immaculate desk, she took hold of the poster and tried to covertly place it back in the drawer, annoyed at having to treat it like illegal contraband.

It was a scrap of paper, nothing more. Yet years of being pestered by her mother had led the intern to be cautious. She wasn't forbidden from attending the theatre, but her parents certainly didn't like her wasting money on it.

_There are better things to invest in,_ She would always say.

_But I enjoy it, _Lisa would reply.

_It's just a bunch of people prancing around in silly outfits. They're like high class clowns._

The woman never understood the artistic merit of such a performance. It was too much effort for her to try. In the end, the girl gave up all attempts to convince her mother, accepting the fact that she would never view it in quite the same way.

'What's that?'

The doctor's voice was low in her ear, startling the girl. She'd let her guard down for a second too long, not realizing that he was now right behind her. She spun to face him, that warm, throbbing pulse resurfacing once again.

Before she could answer his question, Kaufman grabbed the poster from her grasp, holding it firmly in both hands. He'd snatched it with such force that he'd almost torn the fragile paper in half, angering the girl.

'Are you fond of the theatre?' He enquired, still examining the advert.

Lisa gave a nod, 'Yeah, but I haven't been in a while. My mom thinks it's a waste of time.'

He scratched his chin thoughtfully, finally returning the poster to her. Tugging on the hem of his jacket, the man crossed his arms and watched Lisa, his expression so uncommonly benign that it troubled the nurse.

'You're face is terribly red.'

Sucking in her breath, Lisa struggled to keep her composure, feeling both cheeks burn even brighter now that he'd made such a comment. Clearing her throat, she carefully placed the poster back into the drawer.

'I'm just hot, it's warm in here.'

Though her back remained turned, the teen could still feel his eyes on her, sense them roving up and down her body as she leaned over the desk to gather up her notes.

Had he sussed her out? She wasn't sure. He could have asked her what size shoes she wore and her flesh would still have flared. He didn't need to do much of anything to make her body react. Simply thinking about him was enough.

Just that morning she'd been slumped on the floor, unable to control what her body was desperately seeking. Just thinking about it made her squirm. The man she was dreaming of was right there in the room, and she no longer knew how to react.

With a small pad pressed to her chest, the intern gave the man a swift smile, 'I'm done for the day. I'll have a written report ready by tomorrow.'

As she passed, the girl inhaled his strong cologne, closing her eyes as she let it rush to her head. She recognized the aroma. Her father wore the same brand, but it seemed to smell different on Kaufman. Strong and powerful.

With slender fingers enveloping the handle, she paused, trying to think of something to say. Her embarrassment was clear, but trying to defuse the situation would only make things worse. Slowly shaking her head, she pulled the door open.

'One moment Miss Garland.'

Swallowing her nerves, Lisa shut the door and faced Kaufman, her fingers rapping neurotically against her notepad. Her heart was beating like a hummingbird's wings, and she began to wonder if he could hear it pounding.

He slowly paced towards her, hands swinging by his sides as he approached. He wasn't so much tall as he was stocky, and his presence was very imposing. She backed up against the door, despite the sizeable gap between them.

'I'm quite the avid theatre goer myself. I don't normally do this, but perhaps you'd like to accompany me to the performance this Saturday?'

Stunned by his invitation, the girl could do nothing but stare, lips moving silently as she struggled to form a reply. At first she assumed it was a cruel joke, unable to fathom the prospect of being on friendly terms with the man.

Rubbing at her stiff neck, she stammered hopelessly over her words, feeling stupid and inept. It seemed impossible to answer a simple question, leaving her confused and conflicted as she desperately thought of a good answer.

'Well?' He offered again, checking his watch.

He'd put her on the spot, and in a panic she blurted, 'Yes, that would be nice.'

Lowering her head, she started fumbling with the pages of her pad, reading through her notes, flipping through messy scribbles, anything to avoid his piercing gaze. Her answer was the result of pressure, but it was what she had honestly wanted to say.

With a fleeting smile, the doctor reached forward to grab the handle, their faces almost touching as he came close. When the door pushed against her, she stepped aside to let it open, bumping into him as she did so.

'S..sorry,' She clumsily stammered.

He brushed invisible dust from his suit, 'Not to worry, it was an accident.'

The man entered the gloomy corridor, leaving the girl without so much as a farewell. He stopped to converse with another doctor in the hall, not even bothering to acknowledge her. As he disappeared around the corner, the nurse exhaled the breath she'd been holding.

It was as though they'd never met, like the nurse was just some stranger he'd seen walking down the street. It made her feel abandoned, as though her existence meant nothing to him.

Frustrated, the girl stormed into the bathroom and dumped her notepad on the floor, leaning over the sink as she splashed icy water on her flaring skin. It soaked her dress and pooled on the floor, but she didn't care.

Even despite everything, she still wanted him.

* * *

_March 5th 1976_

_Something unusual happened today. Doctor Kaufman asked me if I'd like to accompany him to a performance at Artaud Theatre. I'm not sure how I should feel about that. It's not a date, and there certainly wasn't anything romantic about our interaction._

_But if it isn't a date, why does it feel like one?_

_Perhaps he feels sorry for me? Is it an act of pity? I never considered him the compassionate sort. I'm also not sure if I want his sympathy._

_I'm scared, and I'm confused._

_I want to believe that he's doing this to get closer to me, that perhaps he feels the same way. But what if he did? Surely it isn't proper for a grown man to behave in such a manner?_

_But if I'm being honest, I'd find it flattering._

_When I bumped into him earlier, my skin tingled. When he came close, I tensed up. He noticed me blushing, and I cursed myself. He probably just thinks I'm a foolish child with some silly infatuation. Maybe he's right._

_Tomorrow the play debuts. I'm excited, yet also apprehensive. He hasn't told me what to expect. He hasn't said anything. Surely he won't turn up on my doorstep? Am I supposed to meet him at the theatre? Will he phone? I've no idea._

_Nothing that man does makes any sense. I'm constantly being yanked back and forth like a dog on a leash. Sometimes he's nice to me, but he can also be cruel and insensitive. What is it about him that makes me fluster?_

_He's the greatest puzzle I've ever encountered, and only time will tell if I can solve him._


End file.
